Starting Therapy: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing

Starting therapy can feel like a big step. You may have spent weeks (or even months) thinking about it before finally reaching out and booking that first session. Walking through the door (or logging online) is something to be proud of. This is where the work truly begins.

Therapy isn’t just about talking; it's about showing up for yourself, being curious, and staying open to change. Here are some reflections to help you get the most out of your sessions.

1. See Therapy as a Collaboration

Your therapist might guide the process and ask questions, but you bring the material—your experiences, thoughts, and emotions. Therapy works best when it’s a joint effort. Before each session, think about what’s been on your mind. Do you want to discuss your week? Or perhaps you need help figuring out your relationships. Maybe there's something you've been avoiding or a feeling that keeps resurfacing. Even a simple thought like “I don’t know where to start today” is enough to begin with honesty and intention.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Honest

It’s normal to hold back at first; many people do. You might worry about being judged or feel unsure about how much to share. Therapy is most powerful when you can express things as they are, not how you think they should be.

I remember one of my tutors telling me, “I am unshockable and an extremely compassionate therapist.” There’s very little you could say that would make me react negatively. My training has taught me to stay curious and help you explore what feels difficult to express.

3. Be Patient with the Process

Therapy isn’t a quick fix. Some weeks, you’ll leave feeling lighter; other times, you might feel unsettled or unsure. That’s all part of growth.

Think of therapy as a gradual unraveling of a tangled ball of string. You’re learning to understand yourself better, and that takes time. Focus on working through one thread at a time. Instead of measuring progress by how “good” you feel, pay attention to how much more aware and connected you’re becoming.

4. Reflect Between Sessions

The work doesn’t stop once you leave the room. Our sessions are only one hour out of the week. Often, the most meaningful insights come between sessions—in how you respond to stress or notice old patterns appearing.

You might find it helpful to jot down brief reflections or feelings that arise during the week. This doesn’t need to be formal journaling; even a few notes on your phone can help you bring fresh observations into your next session.

5. Notice Your Resistance

There will be times you want to cancel, avoid a topic, or tell yourself therapy isn’t helping. These moments often hold something important.

Instead of criticizing yourself, consider asking: What feels hard about this right now? What am I protecting myself from? Resistance isn’t failure; it’s part of the process. Exploring it can lead to some of the biggest breakthroughs.

6. Keep the Focus on You

It can be tempting to use therapy to talk about everyone else—your partner, your parents, or your boss. While that can be useful, try to notice how you respond in those dynamics.

What happens within you when conflict arises or when you feel unseen? Therapy is your space. Bringing it back to your own thoughts, emotions, and boundaries helps deepen your self-awareness.

7. Trust the Relationship

The therapeutic relationship is the heart of the work. Feeling safe, respected, and understood allows you to open up more deeply. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to say so. I encourage it! I want to explore that with you in a safe space.

Therapy isn’t about perfection; it’s about building a relationship where you can be real. That realness becomes healing.

8. Celebrate the Small Shifts

Progress doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s catching yourself before reacting or recognizing a pattern that used to go unnoticed.

These moments matter. Each small shift is a sign of change taking root.

9. Neurodivergence and Feeling Nervous

For some neurodivergent clients, therapy can feel especially tricky. It’s not always easy to find someone who truly understands your needs, even when those needs aren’t obvious.

I work in a flexible way, adapting sessions to suit each individual. This might mean meeting online with cameras off if eye contact feels too intense, drawing together during sessions to support regulation, working outdoors, sitting on the floor instead of a chair, adjusting lighting or temperature, or having fidgets available. What matters most is finding what helps you feel settled, safe, and secure.

10. Embrace Vulnerability

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but in therapy, it’s a strength. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can lead to deeper connections and insights. It’s okay to feel scared or unsure. Remember, you’re taking a brave step towards healing.

Final Thoughts

Therapy is an ongoing act of self-care, a space to understand, grow, and find steadier ground. The most important thing isn’t to “do it right” (because there is no “right” way) but to stay open and engaged, even when it feels messy or unclear.

With time, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself, feel more confident in relationships, and move through life with a deeper sense of calm and awareness.

Wishing you all the best,

Thanks for reading!

Love, Laura