Getting the Most Out of Therapy

Starting therapy can feel like a big step. You may have spent weeks (or months) thinking about it before finally getting in touch with someone and booking that first session. Walking through the door (or logging online) is something to be proud of, this is now where the work begins.

Therapy isn’t just about talking, it's about showing up for yourself, being curious, and staying open to change. Here are some reflections to help you get the most out of your sessions.

1. See Therapy as a Collaboration

Your therapist might guide the process and ask questions, but you bring the material your experiences, thoughts, and emotions. Therapy works best when it’s a joint effort. It can be helpful to think about what’s been on your mind before each session, do you want to talk about your week? Or do you want some help figuring out how your relationships work. Or maybe is there something you’ve been avoiding, or a feeling that keeps resurfacing? Keeping it simple like the thought “I don’t know where to start today” is enough to begin with honesty and intention.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Honest

It’s normal to hold back at first, many people do. You might worry about being judged, or feel unsure about how much to share. Therapy is most powerful when you can say things as they are, not how you think they should be.

I want to note here one of the comments my tutors gave to me when I was in training was how “I am unshockable, and an extremely compassionate therapist”. There is very little you could do which would make me react in any sort of negative way, one of my tutors referred to me as unshockable. Now lets also remember I’m trained to stay curious and help you explore what feels difficult to express.

3. Be Patient with the Process

Therapy isn’t a quick fix. Some weeks you’ll leave feeling lighter; other times you might feel unsettled or unsure. That’s all part of growth. 

Think of therapy as a gradual unraveling of tangled ball of string, you’re learning to understand yourself better, and that takes time. Working away at one thread at a time. Try not to measure progress by how “good” you feel, but by how much more aware and connected you’re becoming.

4. Reflect Between Sessions

The work doesn’t stop once you leave the room (after all our sessions are only one hour out of the week). Often, the most meaningful insights come between sessions, in the way you respond to stress, or notice old patterns appearing.

You might find it helpful to jot down brief reflections or feelings that come up during the week. This doesn’t need to be formal journalling, even a few notes on your phone can help you bring fresh observations into your next session.

5. Notice Your Resistance

There will be times you want to cancel, avoid a topic, or tell yourself therapy isn’t helping. These moments often hold something important.

Instead of criticizing yourself, you might ask: What feels hard about this right now? What am I protecting myself from?

Resistance isn’t failure, it’s part of the process, and exploring it can lead to some of the biggest breakthroughs.

6. Keep the Focus on You

It can be tempting to use therapy to talk about everyone else, your partner, your parents or your boss. While that can be useful, try to notice how you respond in those dynamics. 

What happens in you when conflict arises, or when you feel unseen? Therapy is your space, and bringing it back to your own thoughts, emotions, and boundaries helps deepen your self-awareness.

7. Trust the Relationship

The therapeutic relationship is the heart of the work. Feeling safe, respected, and understood allows you to open up more deeply. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to say so, I encourage it!  And I will want to explore that with you in a safe space. 

Therapy isn’t about perfection; it’s about building a relationship where you can be real, and where that realness becomes healing.

8. Celebrate the Small Shifts

This can be annoying but progress doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s catching yourself before reacting, or recognizing a pattern that used to go unnoticed.

These moments matter. Each small shift is a sign of change taking root.

9. Neurodivergence and feeling nervous 

For some neurodivergent clients, therapy can feel especially tricky. It’s not always easy to find someone who truly understands what you might need, even when those needs aren’t obvious.

I work in a flexible way, adapting sessions to suit each individual. That might mean meeting online with cameras off if eye contact feels too intense, drawing together during sessions to support regulation, working outdoors, sitting on the floor instead of a chair, adjusting lighting or temperature, or having fidgets available. What matters most is finding what helps you feel settled, safe and secure.

Final Thoughts

Therapy is an ongoing act of self-care, a space to understand, grow, and find steadier ground. The most important thing isn’t to “do it right,” (because there is no “right” way)  but to stay open and engaged, even when it feels messy or unclear. 

With time, therapy can help you reconnect to yourself, feel more confident in relationships, and move through life with a deeper sense of calm and awareness.

Wishing you all the best,

Thanks for reading!

Love Laura